Steps in reducing negative effects
of children of divorce

The Effects on children of divorce varies considerably. Some children adjust rather well to a divorce whereas ,others may suffer negative and long-lasting effects. Who is likely to fare well, and what factors make the process of adjustment easier for members of divorcing families?children of divorce

Adequate financial support. Divorcing families fare much better if they have adequate finances, which has less negative effects of divorce upon children. Unfortunately, many mother-headed families experience a precipitous drop in income, which may necessitate a move to a lower income neighbourhood and a mother's return to work at precisely the time her children need stability and increased attention, which has considerable Effects on children of divorce. children of divorce

Furthermore, a lack of money for trips, treats, and other amenities to which children may be accustomed can be a significant contributor to family quarrels and bickering adding further to the accumulative Effects on children of divorce. Unfortunately, only about half of non-custodial fathers pay any child support and recent efforts to require non-custodial parents to pay their fair share are a step in the right direction, but this lack of support puts severe financial Effects on children of divorce, let alone the mothers.children of divorce

Adequate parenting by the custodial parent. The custodial parent obviously plays a crucial role in the family's adjustment to divorce in lessening the negative Effects on children of divorce. If he or she can continue to respond in a warm, consistent, and authoritative manner, children are much less likely to experience serious problems and so greatly reducing the detrimental Effects on children of divorce.children of divorce

Of course, it is difficult to be an effective parent when one is highly stressed or depressed. Yet both the custodial parent and the children can benefit immensely from receiving outside social support not the least important of which is that provided by the non-custodial parent whose positive input can have tremendous impact on reducing the Effects on children of divorce.

Social emotional support from the non-custodial parent. If divorced parents continue to squabble and are hostile to each other, both are likely to be upset, the custodial parent's parenting is likely to suffer, and children will likely feel caught in the middle, torn in their loyalties, and will probably have difficulties adjusting, which ultimately in the short and long term would have detrimental Effects on children of divorce.

Ideally, then, children should be permitted to maintain close, affectionate ties with both parents to minimise the Effects on children of divorce, and should be shielded from any continuing conflict between them.children of divorce

One way of ensuring that children of divorce do not lose contact with a non-custodial parent is to seek joint physical custody and have children spend part of the time in each parent's home so helping prevent further harmful Effects on children of divorce.

This arrangement can work well if parents get along; but if their relationship is hostile, their children may feel caught in the middle - an impression associated with high levels of stress and poor adjustment outcomes and further irritants to the Effects on children of divorce.

It really doesn't matter whether families obtain joint custody as long as children are permitted to maintain close affectionate ties to both parents, who are committed to co-parenting and to shielding their children from any continuing conflict between them.

By putting the youngsters first they both accept responsibility in reducing the Effects on children of divorce

Additional social support. Divorcing adults are often less depressed if they participate in support groups such as Parents without Partners (a national organization with local chapters that attempt to help single parents cope with their problems) or if they have relatives or close confidants to whom they can turn so that the Effects on children of divorce are better managed.

Children also benefit from the support they receive from close friends who can less obtrusively deal with the Effects on children of divorce, and from participating in peer?support programs at school, in which they and other children of divorce are encouraged to share their feelings, correct their misconceptions, and learn positive coping skills Friends, peers. school personnel, and other sources of social support outside the nuclear family can do much to help families adjust to divorce and so reduce Effects on children of divorce.

Minimizing additional stress. Generally, families respond more positively to divorce if additional disruptions are kept to a minimum for example, if parents do not have to go through messy divorce trials and custody hearings, seek new jobs or residences, cope with the loss of their children. and so on - all producing negative Effects on children of divorce.

One way to accomplish some of these aims is through divorce mediation meetings before the divorce in which a trained professional tries to help divorcing parents reach amicable agreements on disputed issues such as child custody and property settlements.

Divorce mediation does appear to be an effective intervention - one that not only increases the likelihood of out-of-court settlements but also promotes better feelings between divorcing adults and increases the likelihood that a non-custodial father will pay child support and remain involved in the lives of his children thus minimising the Effects on children of divorce.

Here, then, we have some effective first steps in the path toward a positive divorce experience which will help less lessen the Effects on children of divorce, as well as a better understanding of why divorce is more disruptive for some families than for others.

This research also serves as yet another excellent example of the family as a social system embedded in larger social systems. Mother, father, and children will all influence one another's adjustment to divorce, and the family's experience will also depend on the supports available within the neighbourhood. the schools, the community, and family members' own social networks.

The aim always being to produce a post-divorce environment which has less negative Effects on children of divorce.