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and Limerence Stories [HOME][one][two][three][four][five][six][seven][eight][nine][ten] Tell
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Romantic Love Relationships: " My experience is probably not so unique, especially in the age of the computer, but the person I am in love with is over 3,000 miles and an ocean away from me. We have never met. We are connected through our email messages and our phone calls. We have been involved for a year and a half. We have declared our love for each other and we both feel that our souls are connected, that we were meant to find each other, that we belong together, even if only spiritually. All of this is complicated further by the fact that we are both married. My husband is aware of this relationship, the wife of the man I am in love with knows nothing about it. We are having some problems at the moment because he attempted to leave his wife, though not because of me, and then regretted it because he had hurt her. The problems in his marriage existed before he knew me. He asked her to come back, which she did, and he made a half-hearted attempt to leave me but I persuaded him not to. However, things hav! e not been the same since and he has asked me to be patient while he tries to work through the problems in his marriage. I am now realizing, after about six weeks of this, that things will never be the same. I find this impossible to accept." F 45 - 54 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: " Although I have experienced this several times since teenagerhood, and even before, I would have to say that the older I get the more realistic I have become in the sense that a part of me is better able to detach and analyse what is happening; I'm aware that it is temporary and will go away one way or another. Also in the sense that while as a teenager the object of my affections may have barely even been aware of my existence, the older I have got the more I find that this happens only mutually, to a greater or lesser extent. I also find that I am much more realistic if things don't work out exactly as planned; I no longer expect perfection, I have learned how to "go with the flow" and enjoy the trip; and if it doesn't work out (and statistically I think most don't) I get over it pretty quickly...till the next one comes along. One piece of advice I would certainly give is on no account have a child while in this condition, as I did. I would advocate waiting till the "high" h! as worn off, and then see how you feel about the person. Of course, I am aware that if everyone followed this advice the population of the world would probably reduce fairly rapidly, given the nature of this condition. Which might not, when you think about it, be a bad thing." F 35 - 44 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: " even when I realized it was not going to work out, it was most difficult to 'give up' the object of my affection. " F 25 - 34 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: " I think I've had this twice - the first time was in 1994 - a three month, intensively obsessive relationship on both sides that was ended by her, followed by a long-term depression. I recognise many of the qualities listed above in that relationship, but I would like to add more - an intense awareness of objects or attitudes associated with her - i.e. seeing someone wearing similar clothes would remind me. Also a tendency to pick up on her patterns of speech and behaviour. The second occasion was several months ago, and fortunately less intense, but in this case one-sided - I'm still recovering! This one is made more complicated by the fact that she is a long-term friend, who I suddenly fell for - fighting my way out of the condition is made more difficult by knowing that we are somehow supposed to remain friends. I wish I knew the answer to that one.... " M 35 - 44 yrs |
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