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Romantic
Love Relationships: So overwhelmed
and controlled by these feelings
"Isn't it scary how we can be so overwhelmed and controlled by these feelings, especially when we do not know the person that well. The intense infatuation and projection is almost destructive. You really nailed all the feelings on the head in question #3. Do men feel this way to the same degree?" F Age 25 - 34 Romantic Love Relationships: Usually all I can see is the positive of loving him "Some of the symptoms check above have passed - Like longing for the feelings to be returned, mood swings dependant on LO's responses, fear of rejection, sensitivelty to their responses, and the need for reassurance. Once my LO let me know that he felt the same way, and convinced me of his feelings, those were gone. Now even the aching of being apart is outweighed by all of the positive obsessions and feelings we share for each other. Even the fact that we are both married and live on oposite sides of the world are bearable, and usaully all I can see is the positive of loving him - of being in love with him". F Age 35 - 44
Romantic Love Relationships: Nothing like this has ever happened to me " Nothing like this has ever happened to me. It has been going on for over a year. Thinking about her now." M Age 35 - 44. Romantic Love Relationships: Unlike anything I have ever felt before " overwhelming, like i was swept away on a TIDE of something. It was ELEMENTAL. unlike anything i have ever felt before." M Age 55 - 64. Romantic Love Relationships: It cost me several friendships "It impedes your entire life, paralyzes you. It cost me several friendships, and ultimately it cost me her. I can't help the condition though, I am predisposed to feel it." M Age 18 - 24 Romantic
Love Relationships: A
very difficult sensation Romantic
Love Relationships: This
contact can leave me throbbing with my confusion renewed Romantic Love Relationships: How do you stop the urge to call them "In a new relationship how can you stop thinking about the other person, how do you stop the urge to call them to hear their voice? Its a hysteria of sorts, OCD I supposer." F Age 25 - 34 Romantic Love Relationships: Which pains me greatly "
i am gay, but i have found that the only men that bring these feelings
out of me are heterosexual men... which pains me greatly!" Romantic Love Relationships: I was obsessed with John " 5 1/2 years ago my eyes met with those of "john". I left the room thinking" i'm going to marry John!"and just smiling to myself. For the next 3 years I was obsessed with John. He works in my building. I was married at the time and couldn't even relate to my spouse anymore, as I was OBSESSED with John. Writing poetry etc. I KNEW John was for me and vice versa. Eventually I separated from my husband (because I HAD to try to 'get' John), within months John got the message that I was 'available', asked me out and we have been dating ever since. I think I was right!!! My friends thought that I was crazy at the time that I was obsessing but I couldnt focus on anything but attaining what I knew would be a mutually fulfilling relationship with John. Suprisingly we are much more alike than I ever thought possible. " F Age 25 - 34 Romantic Love Relationships: Its hypnotic and it feels sooo goood. " I felt limerence a long time ago and it never was reciprocated. I'm in the process of a divorce from my husband. This insurance agent in my building where I work has an intoxicating smile that just melts me. I find myself thinking about him at all times but yet focusing on my needed singleness after seperation. I'm hoping I can be drunk on his smiles for a long time and then maybe someday when my situation is healthier we can meet and converse. Its hypnotic and it feels sooo goood....." F Age 35 - 44 Romantic Love Relationships: I could go on, but I won't. "
This was a totally fake experience - yes I had all these feelings, but
feelings don't a relationship make. They have nothing to do with the
reality of everyday life and Love. Love is an action verb and requires
one to actively do things for and about the other person. Respect, ensuring
to your ability that only the best happens to the other, supporting
the other emotionally and physically, taking care of the other when
s/he is ill, bearing the burdens of the other and forebearing the other's
foibles, taking joy in the other's accomplishments and helping him/her
to achieve them, staying with the other in bad as well as good times
- all those old fashioned things. Those are the things that comprise
true Love as opposed to "limerance" or romantic love. Romantic Love Relationships: I have experienced limerence temporarily every year of my adult life " I am almost 30 years old and I believe I have experienced limerence temporarily every year of my adult life. I have never been able to date a man longer than one month in the past 7 years or more. I, myself being afraid of rejection, always reject first and often for something extremely trivial. I like "new" and "exciting" and it lasts for about 3 or 4 weeks until I start to realize that I am not happy being with someone and tend to look out the window and long for my freedom. Limerence is something that I experience in the first few weeks of dating someone; it has so much uncertainty and the little comments made by my "partner" tend to mean so much more and I end up convincing myself that "he" is not the one for me and I end it quickly. I have never been married and I have only dated one man for 9 months in my life.... and that was 8 years ago. I know I am afraid of commitment and usually when I do see someone it is intense, quick and over. Just like that." F Age 25 - 34 Romantic Love Relationships: The joy of limerence for me is now the agony of limerence " An affair with a younger, gorgeous, **extremely** romantic guy who was a GREAT lover. Unconsciously/consciously knew we weren't in it for the long term (I was in partnership) but was SO much fun to talk several times a day, plan our next get-together, see each other, email afterwards about how wonderful it was, and when can we see each other again? Due to circumstances, cut it off, but it kind of heated up again, then he got tired of some personal drama, really wanted a full-time girlfriend and met a likely candidate who he immediately fell for and backed off our romance... The joy of limerence for me is now the agony of limerence, the pining, the missing - especially just the daily excited communication and emotional sharing - as well as the new "discovering each other" physical and emotional sharing... I wonder, can people sustain some level of limerence in long-term relationships/marriages? Or if gone, can it be renewed?????? (big sigh)." F Age 35 - 44 Romantic Love Relationships: This is a true psychological state "
In one particular instance, i have felt this 'inadvertant attraction
'to someone of the opposite sex. It is such a 'scary' feeling, that
I even have denied myself attraction to him, and have purposefully gone
elsewhere rather than expose my feelings by being in the same room!
I thought i was insane! Romantic Love Relationships: I felt this was my soul mate "
from the momemnt we met to our first conversation to now i felt this
was my soul mate. a semeless blending of personality, ideals, and thoughts.
often i wondered if it was just me trying to match my thoughts, ideas,
etc. to suit the person. we've all had fleeting or casual relationships where you pass time and perhaps get sexually involved with friends. but nothing compares to seeing your entire world and future inside this persons eyes." M Age 35 - 44 Romantic Love Relationships: It took much, much longer to get over this relationship " When I went through my divorce, I felt horrible pain. However, when my "limerance" relationship ended (the first relationship I had post-divorce), I experienced the most horrific, soul-wrenching, gut-twisting suffering ever. I literally fell to the floor and couldn't get up when I realized this relationship was truly over. It took much, much longer to get over this relationship than it did to get over my marriage." F Age 35 - 44 Romantic Love Relationships: Once the limerence ended, I should have gotten a divorce. " For me, limerence is the exciting part of loving someone. My life runs best when I experienced limerence about my significant other. It has often been said of me that I fall in love frequently, whether I need to or not. When I lived with my ex, I experienced limerence repeatedly, generally with him as the object. In my current marriage, once the limerence ended, I should have gotten a divorce. I didn't . I think I will soon." F Age 55 - 64 . Romantic Love Relationships: There is almost nothing about the state of limerance that I have not experienced " I have been in love with a married man for almost 8 years - two of those years without any contact between us at all. Suffice it to say that there is almost nothing about the state of limerance that I have not experienced. My feelings have finally moderated a bit, mercifully. I have a friend who has a loving long-term marriage, but who has never been passionately in love, and we have discussed our situations at length. He has only the vaguest ability to understand my emotional state, and I'm sure he has often thought me quite mad. But regardless of the agonies and tortures,(there really should be stronger words!) I am glad I have been visited with this particular madness. Through this state of limerance, (and I am a middle-aged mother of three, so I HAVE accrued some life experience), I have known the most profound and nuanced emotions of which humans are capable. I am a more informed and empathetic human being, and I think very possibly, a kinder and more tolerant one. ! - That is, if he calls me tomorrow when he says he will! :)" F Age 45 - 54 Romantic Love Relationships: I reconnected with my high school sweetheart " About a year ago, I reconnected with my high school sweetheart. As we were both married,we just started talking on the phone, then emailing & then we just had to meet. Neither of us ever expected sparks to fly but they sure have! We are still amazed at the powerful emotions we are both experiencing. Although it is a difficult situation (he has 3 kids--I have separated from my husband) we maintain constant contact (3-4 phone calls a day, see each other 1-2 times/week). At times, I can't think of anything but him. happy in NJ." F Age 45 - 54 Romantic Love Relationships: I will have some peace but the pull is so strong " I have gone through periods of being totally obsessed with this person. I was in a relationship with him 24 years ago. We were very passionate but he left me. Shortly after that, he wanted to come back to me and I refused because the original breakup was too painful. We both married other people. Since then we have been in contact twice; the first time, 11 years ago, I contacted him and we started a correspondence. We both felt we were still in love. He was in a bad marriage and wanted me to meet with him. I had small children and didn't feel I wanted to break up their home. The second time, he contacted me -- we have been in a an email correspondence. Now he has remarried and he has small children. It is very painful. I want to break it off but I feel some sort of inexorable bond with him. I am in therapy. I love my husband but it is not the same as what I felt for him. I am trying to extricate myself from him once again and it is very difficult. He is insistant --he wants ! me to make love to him one more time and I can't see where this would lead to anything good. He would not leave his children, nor do I want him to. My therapist has tried to help me make this a friendship -- something platonic -- but it isn't working. I believe that once I break with him, I will have some peace but the pull is so strong. It does not make me happy but I still feel so drawn. It is sort of a miserable place to be." F Age 45 - 54 Romantic Love Relationships: I would advocate waiting till the "high"! as worn off " Although I have experienced this several times since teenagerhood, and even before, I would have to say that the older I get the more realistic I have become in the sense that a part of me is better able to detach and analyse what is happening; I'm aware that it is temporary and will go away one way or another. Also in the sense that while as a teenager the object of my affections may have barely even been aware of my existence, the older I have got the more I find that this happens only mutually, to a greater or lesser extent. I also find that I am much more realistic if things don't work out exactly as planned; I no longer expect perfection, I have learned how to "go with the flow" and enjoy the trip; and if it doesn't work out (and statistically I think most don't) I get over it pretty quickly...till the next one comes along. One piece of advice I would certainly give is on no account have a child while in this condition, as I did. I would advocate waiting till the "high" h! as worn off, and then see how you feel about the person. Of course, I am aware that if everyone followed this advice the population of the world would probably reduce fairly rapidly, given the nature of this condition. Which might not, when you think about it, be a bad thing. "
Romantic Love Relationships: I'm trying to decide if I can ever go back to her again " My limerent situation involves a woman who's been cutting my hair for about 10 years or so... always enjoyed seeing and chatting w/her at that monthly appointment... she caught her fiance with someone else and that was the end of that, so we used to talk about that,life ect...never thought she'd ever really be interested in me,but 3 months ago or so, she started showing signs of interest...but I was apprehensive, not wanting to perhaps loose her as a friend if it didn't work (dumb? who knows...). Asked her out for a quick bite to eat after my next appointment...politely blew me off (she can be very guarded and defensive,anyway...)...next appointment acted quite defensive,then like a teenager (she's 36) with an "as if" attitude, seemingly enjoying the opportunity although we've known each other for over 10 years. Now I absolutely cannot stop thinking about her...all day long...INCREDIBLY frustrating...interferes with work (a new job recently, hard to concentrate on it sometimes...) you can't talk your way out of it,it's like your thoughts are on automatic pilot. I'm trying to decide if I can ever go back to her again...things will never be the same. I've decided to cancel my next appointment to give it some time and see how I feel. Won't be the end of the world if I don't go back...why go through all the frustration and longing for nothing? But I've gotten to know her fairly well and we did think of each other as friends...maybe just her way of dealing with all guys...who knows, but it will be a loss one way or the other. Romantic Love Relationships: I'm searching for another victim "My relationships of "love" are in and out ,I have had many high's and limerence over men and only for a few months it subsides and I'm searching for another victim .I cant eat or sleep and my concentration at work has suffered. ." F 45 - 54yrs Romantic Love Relationships: It's is probably more hightened by the fact that it is a love which will never be. "I had this limerence with a long time married friend. I was in an unhappy marriage and felt that this man was my everything. Although he decided to stay in his marriage for the sake of his children I think about him all the time. The intensity of the limerance is subsiding( I haven't seen him in a year) but I often feel that this sort of emotional connection will never leave. I also feel that he feels the same way. We spoke about limerance when we were seeing each other. It's is probably more hightened by the fact that it is a love which will never be. He has decided to stay married. In some ways that longing feeling was never fullfilled. Perhaps that is what makes it even more intense ." F 35 - 44 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: I have have these intense limerent feelings about her. " I am a middle-aged man with a wife and children whom I love. I met a very young girl (a student of mine) who seemed to show a great deal of interest in me. I developed a huge crush on her. It sounds completely stupid because I know there is no chance of realizing a relationship. I am not a pedophile, but I have have these intense limerent feelings about her. It makes me miserable.." M 45 - 54 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: I think it is something everyone should experience " I think it is something everyone should experience for it provides a kind of fantasy, however, it should never be the basis for marriage. ." F 25 - 34 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: All of this is complicated further by the fact that we are both married. " My experience is probably not so unique, especially in the age of the computer, but the person I am in love with is over 3,000 miles and an ocean away from me. We have never met. We are connected through our email messages and our phone calls. We have been involved for a year and a half. We have declared our love for each other and we both feel that our souls are connected, that we were meant to find each other, that we belong together, even if only spiritually. All of this is complicated further by the fact that we are both married. My husband is aware of this relationship, the wife of the man I am in love with knows nothing about it. We are having some problems at the moment because he attempted to leave his wife, though not because of me, and then regretted it because he had hurt her. The problems in his marriage existed before he knew me. He asked her to come back, which she did, and he made a half-hearted attempt to leave me but I persuaded him not to. However, things hav! e not been the same since and he has asked me to be patient while he tries to work through the problems in his marriage. I am now realizing, after about six weeks of this, that things will never be the same. I find this impossible to accept." F 45 - 54 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: It was most difficult to 'give up' the object of my affection. " even when I realized it was not going to work out, it was most difficult to 'give up' the object of my affection. " F 25 - 34 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: I wish I knew the answer to that one " I think I've had this twice - the first time was in 1994 - a three month, intensively obsessive relationship on both sides that was ended by her, followed by a long-term depression. I recognise many of the qualities listed above in that relationship, but I would like to add more - an intense awareness of objects or attitudes associated with her - i.e. seeing someone wearing similar clothes would remind me. Also a tendency to pick up on her patterns of speech and behaviour. The second occasion was several months ago, and fortunately less intense, but in this case one-sided - I'm still recovering! This one is made more complicated by the fact that she is a long-term friend, who I suddenly fell for - fighting my way out of the condition is made more difficult by knowing that we are somehow supposed to remain friends. I wish I knew the answer to that one.... " M 35 - 44 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: A reunion of their souls " There is a distinction between attraction and being in a relationship where both parties are in awe, like a celebration of not a meeting but a reunion of their souls. " M 35 - 44 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: He touches me and I melt from head to toe " He touches me and I melt from head to toe. " F 45 - 54 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: i have truly experienced this feeling only once. " i have truly experienced this feeling only once- with only one person. i was 18 yrs old and he just appeared before me. i knew as i know today at age 38, that we would always be together. we both have chosen different paths for ourselves, but the path to each other has always been and continues to be solid and well travelled. there is no other feeling that comes close to this "limerance" and it should be cherished if discovered." F 35 - 44 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: I have experienced this phenomenon my whole adult life " I have experienced this phenomenon my whole adult life and it never really subsides even though I am married. I believe there is such a deep seated need within me that it will take the rest of my life to control it. My wife oddly enough has the same situation. As a couple we have come to realize what is going on with us and we have been working together to handle the "divine madness". So far, we have come a long ways and still more to go." M 45 - 54 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: The pain has haunted me for the last 8 months " It began on the internet...casual conversations that became more and more personal until it was a full blown affair of the heart if not the body. It lasted for 9 months. I was totally and completely obsessed with this man...and then we met. To say it did not go as planned is the understatement of the year...and the pain has haunted me for the last 8 months.." F 45 - 54 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: I believe it's made it worse for me " I can't believe that there is an actual 'name' for what I have been experiencing. I have recently had the most intense romantic relationship I have ever experienced in my life. Addiction is the only word to describe how I am feeling. This mutual 'divine madness' lasted for about 3 weeks then my partner stepped back (I think he was afraid of the intensity) and I was left out there alone. I wish we could have dealt with it together, but that did not happen and now I believe it's made it worse for me." F 45 - 54 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: A desire to see him in all realms of his life " -There is no inhibition during lovemaking - wanting to please him sexually. -A desire to see him in all realms of his life - with his family, at work." F 25 - 34 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: I am stuck on negative side of limerance " I have felt all the above. At the moment I am stuck on negative side of limerance and can't seem to get out. It helps to read about it, but no matter what you tell yourself, the feelings are still there. It seems to be getting easier with each passing day. " M 25 - 34 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: It is becoming a serious problem for my current relationship. " I am in a relationship with a wonderful man but I have had 2 cases of limerance in our 2 years together. These people have totally disillusioned me into thinking I need to flee and explore a relationship with them based on my intense physical attraction to them. I have a serious lack of sexual desire for the man I am with and that is making this second limerance so difficult to let go of. Also, this second person and I have a lot of fun together but he doesn't have any of the quality traits that my current man has. I am feeling torn and totally preoccupied and confused as to what to do with these feelings. I don't know if I will live in this constant battle with my sexual desire and temptation. It is becoming a serious problem for my current relationship.!. " F 18 - 24 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: Stupid. I know. Selfish. I know. " I've been in a storybook, happy marriage for nearly 10 years to the most wonderful wife anyone could imagine. She is spectacular. However, one evening at a dinner party "it" hit me. This mutual acquaintance (Lisa), my lovely wife, and I started talking about surface topics but I looked into her eyes and watched her expressions and the rest is history(?). Since that evening, I've been unable to get through a single day without daydreaming about her (sometimes hours in a day!). I sit in my car and imagine what it would be like to be her husband and the father of our son/daughter. It's agonizing because I could never forgive myself if I cheated on my beautiful wife. Yet, it's also torture because relocation circumstances have led to us not being near Lisa. I just wish more than anything (I guess this is why men are compared to dogs) that even if I had the fortitude and willpower not to have intercourse with Lisa - and she's never given me even the slightest reason to believe that she'd like to be more than acquaintances - that we could be the closest of friends who believe that if I were not married then she would want me for her husband. Stupid. I know. Selfish. I know. Cruel to the woman who has been my faithful and loving wife for 10 years. I know. But it's how I feel. " M 25 - 34 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: I don't believe that she loves me as intensly as I love her " I turned around at the end of church service to greet whoever was standing behind me and found the most beautiful woman. I looked into her eyes and finally found my voice. She was at least twenty years younger than me and I didn't really believe there could be a chance for me someone so young and ver beautiful. I would always shy away from someone this beautiful. She looked into my eyes smiled and made me feel extremely comfortable. I introduced her to another woman who was doing a healing after service and left them alone to talk. I kept making eye contact with her across the room and finally approched her again. We ended up talking for an hour and made plans to go out for lunch the following sunday after services. We have been seeing each for a little over a month now and I am getting deeper and deeper into this feeling with her. I have told her how I feel and she has said that she loves me. I don't believe that she loves me as intensly as I love her, but at this stage in my! life I will be patient and hope that what we have deepens. I have to admit that she is constantly on my mind and I have to talk to her every day and see her as often as I can. When I am too long without communicating with her I almost go into depression and start having thoughts about her leaving me. I try to control these feelings but nothing works except the sound of her voice or being with her. There are times when I'm not sure if I want this to go on, but for the most part it's wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing. I only wish that we could both be experiencing it at the same intensity. " M 55 - 64 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: My wife is very attracted to a male co-worker of hers "My wife is very attracted to a male co-worker of hers. Attracted to his eyes, glasses and accent. She does not desire him at this time, but I make up stories (fantasizing) about her, him and me while we are in bed and she gets very turned on. I admit, so do I. She is an Engineering Manager, so she is educated (CE) and a professional. Last week I gave her a hickey (she asked for it) and she hoped he would see it. She could hide it from other co-workers with her collar. He is consultant so his position is temporary.. " M 25 - 34 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: And voila! Here I am again! "It has been 7 years since I last felt limerant. That's when
I last became aware of the term. During the last time I was limerant
for someone, I dated three other people, one of whom I told that I loved
him romantically, but hadn't "fallen for" him. That was a mistake. Romantic Love Relationships: It's horrible and wonderful all at the same time. "This state of limerance can go from high to low in a matter of minutes. Romantic Love Relationships: I'm learning to cope with the limerance. "I've only experienced "limerance" with one person long-term.
It's been 5 years and the feelings are still there. Fortunately,
he has admitted to having similar feelings towards me, so the rejection
isn't there as much. This person actually moved two states away
shortly after the limerance started for both of us (it was a pre-planned
thing - the limerance hit unexpectedly once the ball was already rolling),
and has since become one of the closest friends I've ever had. Romantic Love Relationships: I am looking for a way to get my mind off this person and into my "real" life and marriage. "This is a romantic love of Edna St. Vincent Millay proportions, 10 years and counting, unrequited, almost, except for some mixed messages and "I love you"'s. We are both married to other people but were close friends years ago. I am looking for a way to get my mind off this person and into my "real" life and marriage." F 35 - 44 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: Unexpected, out of the blue "Unexpected, out of the blue - someone I had known for several years. Neither of us in a position to have this ' such a relationship but neither of us willing/able to stop us. A feeling of best friends, extreme openness, excitement, challenge. Really hard to not be physical as well - in fact impossible but in such a different way than with anybody else - all the things we do simply being a part of the whole.." F 35 - 44 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: We're both richer for it " I met this special
person when I was 12 (he was 17). We didn't end up together. This year,
(2001) we re-met through the internet and were able to say all the things
we felt so long ago (and do to this day). THIS time we both experienced
and were able to "complete" the state of 'limerance' you spoke of so
eloquently. -- As a stage III cancer patient, it was a life transforming
experience for me - LITERALLY & profoundly.-- He 'freed' the hurt
that had festered for almost 50 years and opened me to an ability to
love I Romantic Love Relationships: I was in love with him there and then. " My dose of limerence
always occurs on the dance floor. When I am dancing, I am already
in a state of euphoria so, any attention given would trigger my reactions. Romantic Love Relationships: I sense he still harbors much feeling, but fights it. " I've been in "limerence"
with a particular man now since August of '99. He is married;
we met innocently and were both struck with the intense infatuation
very quickly. We are both very attached to each other still, but
he panicked soon after we met, when he felt himself falling in love,
and pulled back to a more platonic standing. I sense he still
harbors much feeling, but fights it. (For example, he creates
CD compilations of music, or videotapes of favorite artists, for me
every month or so and leaves them on my doorstep or in my mailbox.
Also, although we see each other rarely, every time we have he has been
unable to keep himself from touching and kissing me.) Romantic Love Relationships: Basically this feeling totally surrounds me in everyday life " Basically this feeling totally surrounds me in everyday life. I feel totally wrapped up in my boyfriend and i can't envision my life without him. it is total bliss until i get the impression that my feelings are not being mirrored by his." F 18 - 24 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: I still feel the same as when our love first blossomed " It has been over 3 years since her departure. I still feel the same as when our love first blossomed." M 18 - 24 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: Time does mend the heart. " When I was in a state of limerence,everything was wonderful when I was with him,when not I was sad,lonely,afraid and even worried. The hardest part of being in a state of limerance,was when he did not recipricate the feelings. I had perceived the relationship differently then him and when he moved on I was totally devastated.Unfortunatly I replaced him with someone else real quick and looking back,I realized they both had the same qualities,and once again I was caught up in a state of limerence,and once again he left me. Looking back I would of loved them anyways even if I had known the outcome.Time does mend the heart." F 35 - 44 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: It is rare that the one you love is having intense feelings exactly as you do. " In my experience and of those shared with me by others, it seems that when you are in a state of limerence, it is rare that the one you love is having intense feelings exactly as you do about them. They may strongly love you, but do not sense a longing and need for you in the same same way as you do for them. The predicament for the victim of limerance is that it is hard to believe the other is not experiencing the same intense feelings as you are ongoing. Therefore, you may be shocked and surprised if at some point your "true love" decides this is not the best relationship for them. The positive side to this is [I feel] that most people having someone holding them in such high esteem are delighted that another cares so deeply for them and will most likely try hard to reciprocate. " F 45 - 54 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: I sweat in the strangest places. " My senses have become stronger, more acute. Memories of the sound of his voice thrill me. I sweat in the strangest places (when he kisses me, I sweat behind the knees!). Changes in my own body chemistry - I smell different! " F 45 - 54 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: Not true love but limerence. " Only when my wife dumped me for another person with whom she was having an affair, did I realize through therapy, that the euphoric state I was in in overlooking her behavior and constantly trying to achieve her favour was not true love but limerence." M 55 - 64 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: It certainly is fun, while it lasts! " A week ago, my new neighbor in a suburban Chicago apartment building
and I spoke and exchanged names for the first time. Within a very
few minutes, we discovered that we were both from Philadelphia, and
had attended what was always spoken of as "brother and sister schools
-- Phila. H.S. for Girls and Central High. I won't claim it was
"love at first sight," but after just one week, we have managed to both
phone, send e-mails and/or "visit" one another daily, sharing anecdotes
of common experiences, photo albumns, names of families, friends or
playmates that we both knew, growing up, etc. He has been most
attentive and complimentary of my intelligence, wit, thoughtfulness.
I guess I'm really being swept off my feet because I'm ten years older
than he is, and I'm flattered that he thinks I don't seem to be. Romantic Love Relationships: Limerence is both the best and worst experience I have ever had. " Limerance is both the best and worst experience I have ever had. I has given be some wonderful memories but also taken much of what was, objectively, better from me. The best thing about it is that it doesn't last - thank God!" M 45 - 54 yrs Romantic Love Relationships: I feel drugged with happiness. " A week ago I experienced the "thunderbolt" for the first time in my life. It is way more intense than "love at first sight" which is physical attraction only. The only way I can describe how I feel is that I feel drugged with happiness like my endorphin and hormonal levels are at an all time high. I felt an immediate sense of connection, attraction, and rapport with the guy I met by chance and talked to for ten minutes. I am going to go after him soon and even if he rejects me I have gotten something very precious out of the experience which is the feeling that my life is now beginning and that my life can be beautiful because of the people in it. It has made me appreciate my family more." F 45 - 54 yrs All material on this website is copyright.
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