Do you know what stress is? If you just think of stress as a negative, destructive, debilitating force you are wrong!

Surprised? Most of us think of "stress" this way.

But in reality the word stress owes its origin to physics and is used to describe what happens to an object when placed under pressure or when subject to certain forces.

Psychological literature has taken over the word stress to describe the forces and pressures of modern life and our responses to them.

Most of us think of stress in negative terms. This is better described as distress. It is the stress of losing, failing, overworking and not coping.

Distress can affect us in a negative and often harmful manner. It is unhealthy stress.

However not all stress is negative. The word eustress has been coined to describe positive stress. Eustress results from exhilarating experiences.It can be euphoric and powerfully energizing.

It is the type of stress you are likely to experience when you winner the lottery, get that promotion or receive really good news. It is the orgasmic experience of sex.

Eustress is the stress of elation, winning, achieving and produces positive and powerful emotions. Let me explain.

When Timothy my second was small, we were enjoying a picnic with friends at a tidal estuary near the sea. He went missing. The river was flowing swiftly out to sea and if Timothy had fallen in, it would have taken only seconds for him to be carried a long distance. Once I realized he was missing I became totally distressed. The tranquil relaxing environment suddenly changed. The river loomed up as a monster ready to devour my son's life. I can still feel that frightful, panicking and sick reaction today.

The distress just deepened. I ran frantically up and down the river, and looked everywhere, but he was gone! I looked in my car. No sign of him. Ten minutes passed and then twenty.

Feelings of horror gripped me. Total distress!

I went back to my car exhausted and opened the back door. There on the floor behind the front seat was Timothy playing quietly with his toys! He looked up at my ashen face and smiled. Everything changed! The feelings of relief, ecstasy, euphoria and wild happiness burst out from me. I was now experiencing eustress! I picked Timothy up and kissed, hugged and danced with him in exhilarating happiness.

The river ceased to be a monster and the tranquility of the estuary returned.

]Within that hour I experienced the two types of stress -distress and eustress - both in their extreme intensity. I know which type of stress I want in my life - eustress!

Stress is unavoidable in our lives. Circumstances often dictate what we experience. However we can learn to create situations which will provide us with those moments of relaxation and eustress.

Its a pity that the word stress is synonymous with "distress". And yet there can be so many positive experiences around us. Good friendships, interesting hobbies, holidays, beaches, long walks, good books, great movies, moving music, the list goes on.

Now that I have learnt that stress also means 'eustress' I believe the best way to deal with the distress in our lives is to make sure whenever and wherever we can we have positive-stress-filled experiences.