You are sitting amongst a group of people who you have known for sometime, when suddenly one of them stands up, clears their voice and says, "There is something I want to say about (you)!"

Do you begin to get fearful and an edgy feeling that you are about to be humiliated? Are you becoming so nervous you want to sink into your chair? Or are you beginning to panic that some deep dark secret about you is soon to be revealed? Or are you so confident about yourself that nothing could be said about you which could possibly embarrass or hurt you!

The person standing addresses the group. "I want to say what I consider to be some extraordinary things about (you). (You) is one of the most talented and gifted people I have ever had the privilege of knowing. Not only that, (you) has a remarkable capacity of helping other people to feel confident about what they can do, no matter how small their contribution may be. I just wanted to make sure that all the other people in this group are aware of (your) noble qualities!"

The person then sits down. Now what?

Are you totally embarrassed, confused or bewildered? Are you surprised, joyful and pleased? Do you become defensive, apologetic and dismissive of the remarks?

If you were a member of the group hearing these things said about another person, what would be your reaction? Suspicious, jealous, disbelieving, finding the whole thing incredulous and inappropriate? Or would you be applauding, congratulating and affirming what was being said.

How do we respond to praise?

Not very well it seems! Most of us are so used to being criticized, that when someone actually praises us, instead of receiving it with thankfulness and acknowledging with gratitude its generosity, we become suspicious, embarrassed and very awkward. In fact we can feel that praise is somehow "hollow" and really unnecessary. We can also feel it may give a false impression and that the person receiving it will become "big headed"!

Praise is necessary!

When was the last time you received wholesome, generous and spontaneous praise? What was it for? How did you feel? Do you know, that despite the impact of criticism, we actually remember praise more easily. Praise stays! It's just that we usually receive far less praise and too much criticism.

Praise in our lives has a profound impact on our sense of self worth. Praise encourages, empowers and inspires us. We feel appreciated, acknowledged and respected. It can make us feel positive, purposeful and useful. We feel more secure, more adventurous and more creative. Praise is life-giving!

For praise to have integrity and acceptability:

• It must be sincere, genuine, specific, and appropriate, otherwise it becomes false, hollow and ultimately demeaning.
• It must be offered wholeheartedly and truthfully. It should display generosity and appreciation.
• Praise needs to acknowledge actual events, attributes and situations.
• It must be expressed in ways which permits it to be received with the acclaim it deserves and with the feelings of value and regard it expresses.

Praise should be received and acknowledged with thankfulness and openness.

• False humility, dismissive arrogance , timidity and poor self worth can stop praise from flowing across our lives.

  Are you a praise-giving person? Do you find it easy or difficult to praise another person? How do you receive praise? Suspiciously or thankfully?

  When was the last time you "praised" or received "praise". Maybe you would like to tell me about it.