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Who are the Lost Men among Us? Men in midlife have sometimes been described as "The Lost Men". Men who have lost their way, lost their youth, lost their future, lost their fitness, lost themselves. While this doesn't apply to all men the sense of loss for whatever reason, seems to be at the heart of the feelings of crisis which can so quickly invade their lives. I have hundreds of people contact me about these "lost men", who not only become lost to themselves and lost in themselves, but also lost to those around them. Surrounded by life, they seem to loose it! Surrounded by family and friends they seem to abandon them, surrounded by help they seem to ignore it. I have been a "lost man"! Now that is an admission! And what's more, I meet them, talk with them, cry with them, anguish over them everywhere. Lost men run our countries, our businesses, our farms our families while being lost. Usually they don't even know they are lost, and if they begin to see they are, they usually are unable to admit or accept it, for all sorts of reasons. What does a lost man look like? Just like your doctor, or your mechanic, or teacher, or priest or father or husband or brother or partner. Just like any other man! My guess is there is one somewhere in your life, or out of your life whose "lostness" has affected you, troubled you, angered you, injured you, confused or frustrated you. These lost men may be confident, secure, balanced reliable, predictable, trustworthy and the feelings of lostness they begin to experience may be blamed on things such as tiredness, stress, depression, age, or ill health. Certainly these things can trigger "lostness" but in themslves are symptoms rather than causes. 'He came to me and said, "I am in love with...." I knew his wife well, and their children. He was very well educated, in his mid forties. He was described as an 'intellectual' - a thinker! His job and family were secure, but he was lost! I discovered that a few years before in conversations we had. His sense of lostness, which was yet undefined and less understood by him, began to manifest itself in restlessness, moodiness and feelings of not being fulfilled. Yearnings for something more flavored his conversations. Instead of seriously dealing with his lostness he tried to appeased it with a new relationship. His lostness remained because it was never seriously addressed! Why do men become lost? Why is it that a professional man, in a secure job with a good family seems lost? How come even a young man with a bright future can become lost? The search for that answer is profoundly important and necessary for any man living with lostness. I have mixed with men from every walk of life and have found lost men everywhere! Men who know they are lost and men who don't. Men who pretend they are not lost and men who don't. If you are interested as a man or a woman in trying to understand and come to grips with this "lostness" experience, I invite you to join a newsletter I have created and am writing under the general term "Men in Midlife". I am doing this because of the countless inquiries and comments I receive from all over the world concerning this issue. To subscribe click on this hyperlink: http://ozcountry.com/midlife/
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