We can never underestimate the deep need we all have to be "our own person". The search for who we really are can be a very demanding, exciting and frightening journey, especially when at some point in our lives we look at ourselves in an interior mirror and find that the person inside of us is quite different to what we had thought. It is almost as if we are looking at a 'familiar stranger'.

Such moments can come totally unexpectedly and we may find ourselves reeling in self doubt as a sense of unreality and insecurity invades our lives. We have become a spectator to ourselves and are now observing who we are as if we were someone else. It is this 'familiar stranger' encounter we all experience that is essential for the development of our self-knowledge. Self-realization brought about by our ability to reflect on ourselves enables us to 'get to know' the person we are.

Our sense of self is produced by our life experiences and these are embedded within our memories. Take away our memories and we lose our sense of identity. This is all we have. A 'sense' and not an absolute knowledge of who we. We feel we know who we are because our memories give us our connections and continuity. Our identities are shaped by our past, and fashioned by our experiences. It is our memories which help us make the connections, give us the insights, and provide us with the sense of continuity which is so important for a our personal identity.

When we go through times of crisis, massive changes, serious illnesses, deep conflicts or stress, our sense of self can be seriously challenged, particularly if we have not faced such experiences before. Rather than assuming that personal identity is permanent, static and secure we might better to see our personalities as dynamic, evolving, fluid and changing. This will enable us to grow with life's changes as we develop new skills, insights, attitudes, beliefs and values. We are never the same person. We are all changing.