A few years ago I was at the bedside of a very old man who knew he was about to die. Just before he died he beckoned me to come closer to his bed and then whispered in my ear, "Rodney don't live anyone else's life but your own. I lived everyone else's life except my own, don't do that!" He then took me by the hand and gently died.

You can imagine the impact those words had on me. I recall them often.

Am I living my life? Now that is a very challenging question to ask ourselves.To answer it honestly may raise more issues then we care to face. We may believe to live our own life is selfish.

A book I read some time back called "The Erotic Silence of the Married Woman", suggested very strongly that many women when they marry end up literally losing themselves in their marriage. The demands of being a wife and a mother can mean for many women a loss of identity. In fact this book suggested that "the silencing" of the real person, whether it be a woman or a man, can occur in any relationship.

And not only in relationships. We may find careers, family expectations, political ideologies, religious belief systems all "silencing" the unique individual within us and we end up living someone else's life.

Instead of being encouraged to be ourselves we may find ourselves having to conform to other people's expectations, just to keep the peace, keep the job, keep them happy, keep the relationship.

Of course we all have to compromise from time to time for mutual benefit, but when we have to so surrender up ourselves that we begin to lose our self-worth, self-esteem and individuality, then something is amiss.

The longer the "silencing" occurs the more difficult it is to be heard. We may be so accustomed to our own inner silence that we have become completely deaf to our own inner voice.

It may be that we have also ceased to listen to the 'silence' of those around us. Rather than turn a deaf ear to others and ourselves we should try to listen a lot more to what's going on. Are you living your own life? You may have to listen very carefully to your answer for it might be just a whisper.

And you could be very surprised what you hear. But listening will also improve your hearing.